yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
