omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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