I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
