Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize