I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
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I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
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Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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