The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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