Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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