Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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