I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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