thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I will die if light touches me.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
