so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
