So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
