You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
