Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
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Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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