Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
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I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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