Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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