I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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