Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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