bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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