What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
