You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
