with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
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Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
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it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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