Sponge bath it is.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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