Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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