she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
