Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize