I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
