i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
