just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
