Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize