Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
