fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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