sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
