Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
