I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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