Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
