drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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