Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
