he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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