So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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