I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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