Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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