You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
