My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
