do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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