There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
