I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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