I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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