I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
