Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
