Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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