It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
