Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
