Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
