Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
