yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
