we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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