do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I need moral support for this bender
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
