I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dick very happy bro
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
