help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
