I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
