that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
