apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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