My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Randomize
