I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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