I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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