You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
