dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
