my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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